Unfall
Lyrics & Credits
The first studio album
by Chase Tremaine
Released January 24, 2020
Independent, released digitally and physically with the support of a successful Kickstarter campaign
Download the digital album for free
Purchase the CD on Bandcamp
1. “Matter”
Home
Could merely be the place we sleep
Alone
With plans and promises to keep
Alive
To make all of my dreams come true
Or die
Before making my big debut
You, showstopper, make me think
“Life could end in just a blink”
Thought I had so much to lose
But what’s to gain if I lose you?
‘Cause you’re the one I want to come home to
Hard times come and hard times go
It’s no matter, no matter
Riches come and riches go
It’s no matter, no matter
People come and people go
And that matters
It matters if we can make it through it all
‘Cause you matter, you matter
Night
Reminds us how the cycle ends
The fight
To matter to someone begins
Even if my dreams fall through
Let’s chase yours or dream anew
‘Cause you’re the one I want to come home to
Hard times come and hard times go
It’s no matter, no matter
Riches come and riches go
It’s no matter, no matter
People come and people go
And that matters
It matters if we can make it through it all
‘Cause you matter, you matter
Hard times come and hard times go
It’s no matter, no matter
Riches come and riches go
It’s no matter, no matter
People come and people go
And that matters
It matters if we can make it through it all
You matter
Hard times come and hard times go
It’s no matter, no matter
Riches come and riches go
It’s no matter, no matter
People come and people go
And that matters
It matters if we can make it through it all
‘Cause you matter, you matter
‘Cause you’re the one I want to come home to
2. “Search for Myself”
Been looking at old photos
Re-reading my favorite books
Connecting with hometown pals
But nothing seems to help me out
I’m different, I’ve noticed
Than last year in almost every way
Been missing that other me
Is he long gone like yesterday?
I’m self-aware to a fault
‘Cause I don’t believe I have blindspots
If I am in a state of change
Can what I know really be sustained?
I can’t stop the search for myself
But I’m finding nothing, finding nothing
I can’t stop the search for myself
But I’m finding nothing, finding nothing
Psychology seems helpful
But needing more is inevitable
I’m tired of solutions
That don’t address the pollution
You see it, you feel it
It makes us terrible scientists
Who made us? Let’s talk to him
‘Cause only he sees without sin
I’m self-aware to a fault
‘Cause I don’t believe I have blindspots
If my heart is deceitful
Then what do I hope to find at all?
I can’t stop the search for myself
But I’m finding nothing, finding nothing
I can’t stop the search for myself
But I’m finding nothing, finding nothing
As I sift through my thoughts
The ground beneath me trembles
They shift like all the failing prophecies I wrestle
It’s time to redirect my search to something settled
It’s time, it’s time
I’m self-aware to a fault
‘Cause I don’t believe I have blindspots
And everything I think I know
When I die what will I have to show?
I’m stuck in feedback loops of growth, death, and drift
Perfect self-knowledge is a burden we were not meant to lift
I’m stuck in feedback loops of growth, death, and drift
Perfect self-knowledge is a burden we were not meant to lift
I can’t stop the search for myself
But I’m finding nothing, finding nothing
I can’t stop the search for myself
But I’m finding nothing, finding nothing
3. “Worth the Wait”
He had the future made
Though it was just sixth grade
‘Cause he would keep his heart sealed
Then he was shown the game
His heart unlocked, obeyed
And he learned to play the field
He had it all planned out
How to give his very best
But left that for conquest
You would’ve been (you would’ve been)
Worth the wait (worth the wait)
Is it too late? (is it too late)
‘Cause you’re worth the wait (worth the wait)
That boy, before he grew into a man
He knew you’d be worth the wait
All that he had sworn to
So much he would undo
‘Cause he hasn’t built a thing
If he had just loved you
Would you be torn in two?
And would he still feel this sting?
Now that you’ve heard me out
Will you take me as I am?
A broken promise land
You would’ve been (you would’ve been)
Worth the wait (worth the wait)
Is it too late? (is it too late)
‘Cause you’re worth the wait (worth the wait)
That boy, before he grew (that boy before he grew)
Into a man, he knew (into a man he knew)
You’d be worth the wait
This isn’t how he wanted us to meet
Or who he should’ve grown to be
You would’ve been (you would’ve been)
Worth the wait (worth the wait)
Is it too late? (is it too late)
‘Cause you’re worth the wait (worth the wait)
That boy, before he grew (that boy before he grew)
Into a man, he knew (into a man he knew)
You’d be worth the wait
4. “Programming the Soul”
Death swallowed my whole while I was still alive
Now I’m tickling his tonsils till he vomits me up
Life plagued me with shame when I thought I could thrive
I was whistling in the wind trying not to disrupt
The way I knew life should go
The rules I tried hard to follow
Put my consciousness to rest
Now I think death likes to swallow the best
Why does it feel like…
The more I love, the less I’m loved
The less I’m loved, the more I want
The more I love, the less I’m loved
The less I’m loved, the more I want to hate?
The way I thought life should be
Is not what I found easily
But death is so obvious
We all know it comes for us
We feed off each other, but we’re never full
Now I’m wrestling my conscience till he gives up the ghost
He’s the source of guilt within my programmed soul
So regardless how I’m built, he needs to find a new host
Give me the X and Y so I can find the point
Of latching right and wrong onto a pivot joint
When will the moral landscape let me kill for free
Or else indict the world for how it’s killing me?
These two can’t coexist, at least one must be
If we don’t criminalize, then we are not free
I was taught my conscience is the highest law
But if my heart loves killing, does that leave us at a draw?
The more I love, the less I’m loved
The less I’m loved, the more I want
The more I love, the less I’m loved
The less I’m loved, the more I want
The more I love, the less I’m loved
The less I’m loved, the more I want
The more I love, the less I’m loved
The less I’m loved, the more I want to hate?
Who am I to decide what’s good and what’s evil
But who are you to tell me that I’m wrong?
And why do we prop ourselves up so quickly
To judge what does and doesn’t belong?
5. “Counsel (The Help I Get)”
“Let’s sit in your emotions
Tell me, how does that make you feel?
You got this far and fixed nothing
But now it’s time to heal
A little anger, a little shame
Yell out who you want to blame
And we’ll start from there”
“Let’s list out your devotions
Tell me, how do they help you grow?
Do they lead you into truth
Or does guilt eat at your soul?
A little lust used as bait
To bring others into the hate
Harbored for yourself”
Why am I starting to resent
The help I get
For doing what I want?
Inhibitions fuel contradictions
When I do what I hate
And I’m not what I love
“Describe to me your family
Tell me, did they love you well?
Did they give you tastes of heaven
Or scare you straight with hell?
Did they fight? Did they date?
I know they kept food on your plate
But was that enough?”
“Describe to me your love life
Tell me, have you loved them well?
You say they deserve much more
Yet you ride that carousel
A life of sin used as bait
To bring others into the hate
Then to spit them out”
Why am I starting to resent
The help I get
For doing what I want?
Inhibitions fuel contradictions
When I do what I hate
And I’m not what I love
Why am I starting to resent
The help I get
For doing what I want?
Inhibitions fuel contradictions
When I do what I hate
And I’m not what I love
You don’t have to be scared
You were never alone
But you can’t make it on your own
If you don’t turn around
You might never be found
And if you’re never found
You will never be home
Why am I starting to resent
The help I get
For doing what I want?
Inhibitions fuel contradictions
When I do what I hate
And I’m not what I love
Why am I starting to resent
The help I get
For doing what I want?
Inhibitions fuel contradictions
When I do what I hate
And I’m not what I love
6. “Lonely Saints”
Does heaven have lonely saints?
Does heaven have wasted days?
No matter how hard I try
I never can figure out time
I look for help in myself
But I find a barren hell
Like drowning with my hands closed
After three days, I never rose
I want so badly to surrender
But the days, they are so small
I promised that I’d follow you
But I won’t give up control
Does my house have lonely saints?
I walk past her every day
Yet whether she pray or cry
I never offer up my time
I know that she sees me still
I know that she always will
And I hear her every prayer
But I’ve grown too selfish to care
I want so badly to remember
When I thought we had it all
I made a vow that I’d love her
But I won’t give up control
I want so badly to surrender
But the days, they are so small
I promised that I’d follow you, God
But I won’t give up control
She dives in to grab my hand
But the glass is out of sand
I thought that she needed me
But I had sunk too deep to see
That this woman loves me still
And by grace, she always will
This portrait that rescue paints
Could prove there are no lonely saints
7. “Humanizer”
He’s flirting with me again
Making promises he can’t keep
That I could have everything
If I’d only be with him
But I know he won’t commit
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s a humanizer
His good intentions always seem fake
And there’s a fear I can’t seem to shake
Am I a member of a crowd
Or the only one he sees?
Do I know he won’t commit
Lust and empty promises?
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s a humanizer
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s a humanizer, a humanizer
The only place where I am free
Is when I shut my eyes tight
Disappear from his sight
The only place I want to be
Is where the world that I see
Matches up to my dreams
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s a humanizer
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s stress-stress-stressing me out
He’s a humanizer, a humanizer
The only place where I can see
Is when I shut my eyes tight
Live in perfect hindsight
The only place I want to be
Is where the world that I see
Matches up to my dreams
Either he can’t view me
Or he’s speaking truly
I made my mind up to let him be
But could not kill the anxiety
Even when he is nowhere
I still feel his stare
Tomorrow will always be there
8. “Cave”
It might look like I am stuck in a hole
Don’t mind me, I’ve got it under control
It’s not so bad down here
It’s only been a year
But I can’t imagine going back
Why do I try to please
Anyone but me?
I’ve got everything I need right here
I’ve got everything I need right here
I’ve got everything
Everything in my little cave
Who needs cities when I make my own tools?
Can’t eat, can’t sleep in a world built by fools
I used to humor fears
But now it’s been five years
I’ll never digress again like that
I have found what you seek
Evolution’s peak
I’ve got everything I need right here
I’ve got everything I need right here
I’ve got everything
Everything in my little cave
Digging deeper’s never been so great, no
Don’t confuse my mansion for a grave
I’m so better off living down here where my future’s made
You don’t know, you don’t know
Heard those rumors that I’ve gone insane, no
They will never manage to explain
All the ways I’ve grown past the past
It cannot infiltrate
Better off on my own
I’ve got everything I need right here
I’ve got everything I need right here
I’ve got everything
Everything in my little cave
It might look like I am stuck
9. “Honest Tree”
Telling you the honest truth
Brings the freedom of confession
With the weight of reality
Was it lighter in the fiction?
I don’t need a priest or booth
But I do want absolution
From my wasteland fidelity
Why does freedom cut like friction?
All the bars I couldn’t jump
Have transformed into a cage
I’ve been cut down to the stump
Burn the wood or turn the page
My whole life lies on the floor
What remains of my old self
Can the dead now be restored?
I’m too proud to ask for help
Fruitful seasons came and went
Failed another expectation
While I wait for the honest tree
Will I stand up to the rending?
Seasons feel so permanent
Fiction was my consolation
Will I wake from the fantasy
To a fresh start or the ending?
All the bars I couldn’t jump
Have transformed into a cage
I’ve been cut down to the stump
Burn the wood or turn the page
My whole life lies on the floor
What remains of my old self
Can the dead now be restored?
I’m too proud to ask for help
What do I need to do
To make sure I can stand up in front of you
And be welcomed as a son that you knew
Not a stranger convinced he could always get himself through
All the bars I couldn’t jump
Have transformed into a cage
I’ve been cut down to the stump
Burn the wood or turn the page
My whole life lies on the floor
What remains of my old self
Can the dead now be restored?
I’m too proud to ask for help
I’m too proud to really tell the honest truth
To myself or others
These branches are only good for falling
I hide my face when I hear you calling
My whole life lies on the floor
What remains of my old self
Can the dead now be restored?
I’m too proud to ask for help
10. “Unfallinlovewithable”
You know the tale
They’re looking at you like they just fell
But it won’t last
The future always repeats the past
Hope never dies
But it can shrink to such a small size
There goes the child who loved so hard
Just wanted somebody to miss your smile
When they cannot make you laugh
Somebody to miss the whole you
Not picking their favorite half
You believe that you’re unfallinlovewithable
Eyes that don’t glance
Feet that won’t dance
Asking questions like
“Would it be too much trouble
For one last chance at true romance?”
Who’s falling in love with you?
(In love with you)
I know it hurts
When none commit while everyone flirts
Each one’s the same
Is it them, you, or God who’s to blame?
But nevers can’t stand against one piece of evidence
Then there they go
To never again hurt somebody who knows that
I miss your smile
When I cannot make you laugh
I even miss your sadness
When you cry, I’m cut in half
So I’d rather be together
In weakness than be strong alone
If you would be my forever
A mystery becoming known
You believe that you’re unfallinlovewithable
And it’s alright
I know that fight
Now I need to say
You just might be in trouble
‘Cause it’s not true
And I’ve got proof
I’ve fallen in love with you
(In love with you)
It can be hard to be honest
With all its clumsiness in tow
Contradictions are upon us
Of what we feel and what we show
Time for us to break the pattern
Let the never die at last
Nothing’s gonna make me sadder
Than if you think your hope has passed
You believe that you’re unfallinlovewithable
But at your worst
You are not cursed
When you start to fear
“It was never possible”
You’re worthy of another’s love
We all think that we’re unfallinlovewithable
That if we’re known
We’ll be alone
So we choose to keep hiding away from trouble
And stay aloof
Ignore the proof
I’ve fallen in love with you
Do you love me, too?
Full Album Credits
Production, engineering, and mixing by Zach Lardy
Mastering by Sean Power at the Hilson Studio
Lyrics written by Chase Tremaine
Music written by Chase Tremaine except:
– “Worth the Wait”: written with Taylor Tremaine and Zach Lardy
– “Counsel (The Help I Get)”: written with Taylor Tremaine
– “Lonely Saints”: written with Taylor Tremaine and Zach Lardy
Music performed by Chase Tremaine except:
– “Programming the Soul”: trumpets by Brendan Dorman
– “Cave”: congas by Ray Vaca
– Additional keys, synths, programming, and percussion on tracks 2-6 by Zach Lardy
Thank You’s